my pain will heal
by anyanca31
Summary: raya is a mess without her true love, will she ever find him and who is he. jacob/oc this is my first draft and welcome all ideas for improvement. im rateing it m for suicide references and later chapters. let me know if you want something adding
1. Chapter 1

**My pain will heal**

I remember the day like it was yesterday.

I took one look at him and he was all I would ever need or want.

He was my heart, my soul, he was everything to me.

I have no idea where the feelings came from, but there never going away, I never want them to.

But it sucks like hell when you're taken away from the one you love.

So, hear I find myself. The crazy girl, the loner who can't live her life without the one she is destined to be with.

Since I was taken away from him, my life has spiralled out of control.

I have become an emotional wreck of a girl, yet nobody understands why, I don't understand it myself.

My parents have tried all help they could think of.

I've been through electrotherapy, depression studies, mental wards, psychiatric help and now they have me doped up on every drug going, where told it will help me sooner or later, there wrong.

All that can help me is him.

I awoke to an assortment of pills being thrust into my hand and told to take them.

I'm surprised I don't rattle from the amount I've taken over the years.

I look up to see my mother's angry face; my unknown condition has never worried her it only angers her, because she has to put up with me all day.

I can't even go to school or leave the house on my own.

You see, i'm also a suicidal head case.

When I enter the kitchen my dad is already there.

He hugs me and kisses me atop the head. "How are you feeling today baby"

"Like my life means nothing you know, the usual" "I see. Well, you're seeing tom today.

Talking will help you with how you're feeling" "counselling doesn't help daddy. It's never done a thing and never will" "we can still try, cant we"

I nod and he smiles. I haven't smiled in years.

He looks at my saddened face and sighs; you take a seat and look at nothing in particular.

Later that day I am at my counsellors. I'm laid on a small sofa and he is in a chair beside me taking his notes.

"What would you like to discuss today Raya" he asks me

"What's the point? This doesn't help me. I have done this for two years, and nothing has gotten better"

"But if we keep doing it, it may help you. It takes time Raya, you know that"

"You may as well just play back your tapes and read your notes. La push reservation, the tribe"

"But you have never told me what's so important to you there" "I can't explain it to you; I can't explain it to myself.

But I need to be there, but mum won't allow it. So you see you can't help me at all. Nobody can help me"

That night, where all sat at the dinner table. I'm playing with my food while my mum and sister talk.

"I spoke with tom today" my dad says to me "oh. What did he say" I ask him uninterested

"He feels you need to take a trip. Relax and have some fun. Take your mind off of your worries.

So I have taken some time off work and where going on vacation for a month"

"Where are we going, will I need my bikini" my sister asks excited

"You can bring it along in case. The location however is a surprise.

So after you've finished dinner, I want you both to pack" I nod and continue to play with my food, I don't tend to eat much.

Jacob had been pining for Bella for over a week now. She had decided to marry Edward and become a vampire.

He couldn't bare it any longer, she was gone and it was killing him inside.

He didn't understand how she could choose such a life.

How was he supposed to move on?

If only he could find that one person that would make all his pain go away, give him hope for a better life.

But until that person comes along, he is cursed to mourn the loss of Bella swan, life sucks.

Billy didn't know what to do to help Jacob. His son was crushed and heartbroken by Bella's decision.

"Jacob, she's gone and its time for you to move on with your life"

"What if I can't? What I wouldn't give to imprint now, forget about her and be able to live again.

"I know it's hard for you Jacob, just give it some time, it will get better.

You will find your true love one day"

"I hope your right. I need some time to clear my head. Ill be back in a couple of days"

He than takes off out the back door, once in the woods he phases and runs.

The short plain ride has taken it out of me and I soon fell asleep in the back of the rental car,

My sister is also in the back with me, she is listening to her ipod.

I awaken to the sound of my parent's angry and raised voices.

"Why there, why are we taking her back there" my mum yells

"Because her councillor said it's all she talks about. I want her to get better, and if this will help, ill try it"

I lean over to my sister and she smiles "how long they been arguing" I whisper "half hour I think. I'm tuning it out" she whispers back

"For crying out loud. I'm sick of the world revolving around her problems.

This is not going to help her. Just face it; our daughter is a suicidal head case"

"I prefer mentally unstable" I say, my sister grins at me

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't realise you where awake. How much did you hear" my dad says "most of it don't worry though, what mum said doesn't effect me. I'm too screwed up to give a shit" I take out a pack of cigarettes and light one up, cranking open the window.

I started smoking to help with my depression and to piss my mum off with the smell.

Our car pulls into a driveway of an old house, it looks very familiar.

We all climb out and my dad unlocks the door to the house.

I go inside and take a look around. I flash back to when I was about eight. Me and my best friend playing in the kitchen with flour, we where covered and my dad caught us.

I enter another room and flash back to waking up in my friends arms.

A smile spreads across my lips and I turn to my dad.

He sees me smile and smiles back at me

"That's the first smile i've seen in a long time" "I have reason to. I need to go somewhere"

"Do we look stupid? Nobody needs to deal with your attempted suicide again" my mum says to me

I turn and run from the house, I sprint off in a familiar direction.

I come to a halt outside a small house. I stand there for a while and take in the familiar sight.

A sound comes from the back of the house and I head round to check it out.

I see a familiar face, its Billy black; he's trying to pick something up off the ground, but is having trouble.

I go over and pick up the item in question, handing it to him with a smile.

"Thank you" he says looking up at me "you are welcome. How are you Billy?"

"You look familiar. Do I know you" "yeah you do. Raya quall, at your service sir"

"Well now. Look at you. You've grown a lot. It is so good to see you"

I hug him and than smile "what are you doing in our neck of the woods"

"Dad brought us out for a visit. Where staying in the old house. We needed a relaxing break.

Is Jacob around, it would be nice to see him, i've missed him"

"I'm afraid he isn't. I have no idea where he is at the moment. He took a trip to clear his head" "oh"

My smile fades away and my heart sinks, I know Billy has noticed my change in mood.

"Hey what is it, what's wrong" "its nothing, I just wanted to see him is all"

I take a seat on the ground beside him and he places his hand atop my head in a comforting gesture.

"Something is bothering you. You have such a sad haunted look in your eyes. It wasn't there before"

"I'm fine. Do you have any idea when he will be back?"

"Could be a couple of days, he just takes off when he feels like it"

My heart sinks more, if that's even possible and I pull my knees up to my chest.

The next day I am laid in bed, I just can't seem to find a reason or the strength to move today.

When we first arrived I was so happy, yesterday meant the world to me.

I almost had Jacob back in my life. But now it seems he's still out of reach and I'm back to square one.

Billy and john are sat talking in the living room.

"What's wrong with her john? She isn't the girl I remember, she's lost her spark" Billy says "We actually have no idea. Not long after leaving, her moods changed.

She was low and unhappy, the doctor said it was just the change to her surroundings and that it would get better soon.

But after one year it got worse, she tried to kill herself.

She said she couldn't face her life any longer. The doctors have her doped up on pills, she's under psychiatric help.

None of it seems to work, when we arrived here, she had a smile that lit up her face. She rushed off, than she came back deflated once again"

"She came looking for Jacob, seemed so sad when she couldn't find him"

"She said she was going to find something the second we arrived, must be Jacob she meant" "doesn't that seem odd to you"

"It rather does. I should talk with her, find out what it is. We know she wanted to return here.

She tells her counsellor all the time, we just don't know why"

I sit up and throw off my covers. I head over to the bedroom window and open it wide.

I climb up onto the ledge and than jump out, landing with ease. I take off into the woods and pick up an odd trail.

I run through the trees and up steep hills, coming to a stop at the top of a high cliff.

I stay hidden in the shadows and wait. I can't see anything at first, than five large wolves run forward and dive off the high cliff.

I rush over and watch as they land in the water.

Than instead of wolves, five men resurface laughing. I watch them for a while until one looks up and spots me.

I get up and take off back into the woods. I am soon surrounded by five snarling wolves.

I look at each one and raise my head high, showing that I am not afraid of them. "Let me leave, now" I say

The large black wolf nods to the others and they move aside for me.

I run through the opening between them and than turn back to look at them.

For some reason I decide to push my luck with them.

"Phase back. Let me see you all, please"

The largest moves towards me and suddenly phases back. He stands to reveal a familiar face.

"Wow, hey Sam. Good to see you" "who are you" "raya quall"

"Raya, I heard you where visiting with your family. How did you find us up here?"

"A wolf can smell a wolf. I followed the trail. I thought I was the only one, makes sense that I'm not"

"You're a wolf. I can't smell you. Prove it"

I nod and strip down, than phase into a golden brown wolf with a hear shape of white fair around my left eye.

I than phase back and quickly get dressed.

"For how long now" he asks me "five years actually"

The others phase back now and look at me in shock. One of them moves forward and Sam looks at him as he looks at me with pity in his eyes.

"You've lost your imprint" he says to you "my what now" "the person you are pining for. The pain, it roles off of you, how do you bare it"

I lift the sleeves of my shirt and show them the identical scars on my wrists.

"I didn't handle it at all. I'm medicated up the wazoo. Being a wolf is not fun, especially when you lose the one you need the most. He's still not here"

My legs give way and Sam catches me as I cry.

Jacob is running in some woods in his wolf form. He stops to look out over the ocean.

He senses that the pack are chasing someone and turns back, running for home.

He stops again as a pure pain washes over him from someone he doesn't know.

The pain is excruciating and unbearable, it's gone in seconds and he picks up the pace, worried for his pack.

I am carried into the house and my dad turns around and panics.

"What happened to her" he ask the boys "she's pining for her imprint" Sam tells him as he places me on the couch.

"What. What are you talking about? She's not a wolf" "you are so wrong" Paul says

I'm laid on the couch staring at the ceiling, I can hardly focus. My mum is sat glaring at me while everyone worries.

"We need to find her imprint" my dad says to them all

"It's not going to be easy. Only she can tell us who it is" Billy says

"Don't you have any idea at all? Because she is incapable of telling us anything right now" Paul tells them as they all watch me.

Everyone is in the living area still; I have been moved into my bedroom now.

There all sat looking at each other when a knock sounds. Sam goes and opens the door to reveal Jacob.

"Jacob. You are back already" "I sensed you guys where chasing someone, than all I could feel was pain.

What the hell is going on, who was it that I felt?"

Sam ushers him inside and he sees john sat at the table

"John, hey. What are you doing here" "we brought raya for a trip to relax. Now where trying to save her"

"Save her from what, where is she, is she ok" Jacob says in a panicked rush

"It would appear she is a wolf and she's pining for her imprint that she was taken away from" Jared says

"That's who's pain I could feel earlier. Where is she" "she's resting in her room. She's not doing well, I fear we may have another suicide attempt soon" john tells him

Jacob looks up in shock "can I please go and see her" he asks john

"I think it would help. She needs her best friend right now" Billy says

I am laid on my bed in the foetal position, I feel the bed dip but I don't move to see who it is, and I frankly don't care.

A hand is placed on my hip and comforting circles are drawn into it by the unknown hand as I whimper and cry.

I am pulled into strong warm arms and hand smooth down my back

"Its ok raya, I'm here, you're going to be fine" a voice says in my ear

I pull back and look up into the eyes of Jacob; a smile spreads across my face as Jacobs eyes go wide.

I throw my arms around his neck and he wraps his around my waist pulling me closer to him.

I pull back smiling and he caresses the side of my face

"I never expected to ever feel like this" he tells me "I didn't think I would ever see you again" "I've missed you more than I knew"

"I've been so alone, it was painful without you. I wanted to die; I had nothing left to live for"

"Your dad said you tried already, did you" I show him my wrists and he places a kiss to each one

"You never have to feel like that again, and I never have to feel alone"

I lean into his chest and he puts his arms around me. Billy and my dad open the door and you both turn to them. A smile is upon both your faces.

"You look so much better raya, in fact both of you do" Billy says

"I have my Jake and I feel wonderful" "Jacob was your imprint" my dad says "and she is also mine" Jake tells him without taking his eyes off of you, all you see is love and adoration.

"Thank god. You'll both do better now" Sam says from behind your dad and Billy

"Yeah we will" I say looking into jakes eyes.

So there you have it, I'm a wolf in love with a wolf. My pain is finally gone and replaced with love for Jacob and his replaced with love for me.

Being a wolf and having the ability to imprint can be a curse and a blessing in one.

In my case, it's finally a blessing. I wonder what comes next for us

To be continued …..


	2. Chapter 2

It has been a week since I got Jacob back and I am so happy. We spend all of our time together and I can't seem to keep my hands to myself.

My mum is still being her usual self with me. She is now angry because we haven't left la push and she wants to.

I head down to have breakfast, my sister Janet is sat at the table already and has half a grapefruit ready that she slides to me

"Thanks Janet. What are you doing today" I ask her

"Paul's taking me cliff diving. He's really nice" she says and I grin at her "what are you grinning at" she asks

"I think he imprinted on you Janet" the grin on her face says it all, she is very happy with that idea

"Hell no. that does it start packing I am not staying in this town any longer" our mum yells from behind us

"no" I tell he "don't tell me know" "no" "what" she says angry "you took me away from Jake once I wont let you do it again and I wont let you do it to Paul and Janet.

Why do you have to be such a bitch? La push is the best place ever, we love it here"

"I don't want to be here and that is final now go and pack"

"Shut up" Janet yells at her and I turn to her grinning. She has never stood up to our mum before and I love it

"You grew some balls. Paul is a good influence on you" I tell her as she giggles and smiles at me

"I am your mother and as such you will both obey me"

"Sorry not going to happen. I'm eighteen so I don't have to. And Janet is sixteen so technically she doesn't either, or at least I say she doesn't"

Without thinking my mum comes toward me and punches me in the face which only causes her to break her hand and scream

"Werewolf remember, you can't hurt me like that" I grin as does Janet and than we turn and exit the house as my dad and Sam walk up

"You should take mum to the hospital" I tell my dad "why"

"She punched Raya and broke her hand" Janet says snickering "why did she hit you" "she told us to pack and we refused. I am staying here with Jacob and Janet's staying with Paul" "so he told you" Sam says to her

"That would be my bad. It sort of slipped out" I say and Sam frowns "Paul didn't want to tell her yet. He was scared she would freak out" "no freaking here. Totally happy" she says and I smile at Sam

"You had better tell Paul what you did Raya" he says and I nod than take off in search of my pack brother

Paul thankfully took it well and thanked me for doing it because he was so scared and he and Janet are now talking.

I have made my way over to jakes and let myself in.

He is laid on his bed with an arm over his eyes so I sneak over. But before I can do anything he grabs me round the waist and pulls me onto the bed.

"I can smell you baby" "you cheated" I pout and he sucks my lip into his mouth as I groan and grip his shirt

"I love it when you do that" I tell him "I love doing it" he says as he captures my lips once again and rolls us so I am straddling his hips

He grips my thighs and presses himself between my legs as I gasp and watch him grin

"You're mean Mr Black" I say and he does it again as I let out a small squeak and lean in to kiss him hard

He spins us around again so I am now under him as he grinds his hips between my legs and makes me moan.

His hand makes its way under my shirt and grazes my breast as his lips travel down my neck and he squeezes my breast.

"Jacob" I moan out and I can feel him smile against my neck as he kisses lower. The bedroom door swings open and we look up to see a shocked Embry and quill

"Do you guys never knock" I ask them as Jake removes his hand from my top and sits up as he adjusts his pants

"So Mr Black is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you happy to see me" I say wiggling my eyebrows and he growls at me in a playful way which sends a shiver down my spine and straight between my legs

Jacob stiffens and turns to me with a look I have never seen before one of pure desire and want.

He grabs me round the waist and pulls me into his lap grinning and I lick my lips

"Guys we are still here" Embry says "than leave" I say looking at Jake

"cant do that Sam needs us all now" that deflates our passion and Jacobs tent peg "ok lets go" I growl at them as I pass "oh she's pissed now" quill says "you think" I yell

We all arrive at Sam and Emily's and I stand there glaring at Embry and quill as they sit and try not to look at me

"I called you all here because the Cullen's have returned and we need to make sure Bella is not a danger to us all"

"Who are the Cullen's and Bella" I ask him as he frowns

"There all vampires. But they only feed on animals. At least we hope Bella does. She is there newest family member"

Everyone turns to look at Jacob like he is going to burst and I watch him with curiosity

"Why are you all staring at Jake" I ask "Jake you should tell her" he nods and takes my hand leading me away from the house

"Jake what is it you're worrying me" "Bella was my best friend. I fell in love with her at least I thought I had.

I was wrong I just loved having someone to protect I think. She used me to make her feel better when her leech left and she became depressed. Than the moment he returned she went right back.

She married him and let him turn her during the honeymoon. They left to be sure she would not harm anyone and now they seem to have returned and it could be bad news"

"I see and do you still love her Jacob and tell me the truth I don't want lies" "as a friend only. I know what she is and that she could be a danger. If it comes to it I will kill but she is still my friend"

I nod and thank it all over "let me go there and check"

"What no. why do you want to" "all of you have a past with them and that may blind your judgement. I on the other hand don't know them and will do this right"

"I don't know if I'm comfortable with that" "tough I'm going to run it past Sam" I say than take off


	3. Chapter 3

I arrive at a rather impressive house and a pale boy exits the house and stares at me with uncertainty

"Who are you" he asks and I phase back and dress not caring if he sees

"My name is Raya Quall I am a part of the quileute pack"

"Why are you here" "Sam is worried about your recent addition to the family. He wishes to know that she is not a danger to the town" he seems to think it over and looks at me oddly "what are you looking at" "I cant read your mind easy" "should you be able to" "I'm a mind reader but yours is not easy to read"

"I'm good at blocking the pack, oh well I was sent here to check on your whatever she is" "why send you" "I chose to come on the packs behalf. I am not linked to this girl or you in any way and I decided it would be best if someone who did not have an opinion came so as to not make bad judgement calls"

He nods and a small smile graces his face as he motions for me to enter.

I follow him into a large room where six other vampires are sat and they all snap there heads to look at me

"Who the fucks the mutt" a blond says and I growl at her

"I didn't insult you Blondie so don't insult me" I tell her

"This is Raya quall she volunteered to check on the Bella situation so that she could give an unbiased call on the level of danger she poses" the boy tells them and a woman comes over and hugs me which takes me by surprise

"I'm esme and thank you" "no problem now may I see Bella" the boy nods and turns to the stairs "Bella come down please" he says and a girl with brown hair descends the stairs

"Edward who is she" "her name is Raya and she's here to asses your danger level to the tribe and town"

She moves in front of me and smiles and I smile back politely

"How is Jacob does he talk or think of me often"

"I am not here to discuss Jacob with you Bella. I am here for one purpose only" "I just want to know how he is and to make sure he is not hurting over me. I know how much he loves me"

A small growl escapes my lips and Edward moves her away from me

"I'm beginning to think you pose a danger more than Bella" he says to me and sigh

"I do not wish to discuss jakeys past love for Bella or her past love for him. I am here for one reason as I have clearly stated" I say with more anger than necessary

"You call him jakey why" she asks me and my head jerks up fast as I glare at her and Blondie laughs at us

"What's so funny" Bella asks her "you cant tell she's defensive about her boy" she tells Bella and Bella turns to me angry

"You have no right to take Jacob from me. He is my best friend" she yells and I scoff

"He is your enemy sweetheart. The moment you became this ended your friendship. Jakey is mine so deal with it because I don't share" I tell her

"You cant take him away from me. You are nothing to him but a nuisance. I am the one he will always love, he pledged his undying love to me. Said his heart would always be mine, so he is mine" she says grinning and with that I attack her as we fall to the ground rolling and punching each other

"Go Raya" Blondie yells and Edward growls at her as I punch Bella hard in the face.

I am soon pulled off of her by strong arms and turn to see a rather large guy while Edward holds Bella

"Get off of me shwartzaneggar or I'll kick your ass" I yell

"Sorry pup but not happening" "let go of her. I want to see her kick Bella's ass" Blondie says and I grin at her as she smiles

"Emmett take her to the border please" a blond man says and than turns to me "I'm sorry for what she said"

I struggle out of Emmett's grip and run from the house phasing and running into the woods

Sam and the guys are trying to get in my head but I am blocking them out as I run at full speed trying to burn out my anger

/Raya slow down and tell us what's wrong\\ Sam says in my head but I ignore him and keep going

/baby talk to me\\ Jacob says and with that I let the full force of my pain scream through my entire body and howl

Does he still love her and just didn't want to tell me for fear of hurting me or does he not love me at all.

That thought hurts more than being away from him all that time and I phase back and fall to the floor as I cry

I am scooped up into someone's arms and carried away as I sob

I am soon transferred into another persons arm as I am also wrapped in a blanket

I look up to see Jacob and I begin to struggle in his arms so he places me on my feet as I wrap the blanket around myself and more tears fall as I let the pain show in my eyes

He moves towards me and I back away as everyone watches me

"Tell me the truth Jacob am I anything more than an imprint. Because your precious Bella the girl you pledged your undying love to forever doesn't think so. Now I'm not so sure either" I say with teary eyes and than I walk away and into Sam and Emily's place

Emily follows after me and hands me some cloths. I quickly dress and take a seat at the table

A hand is placed on my shoulder and I turn to see Jacob watching me with pain in his eyes. I bite my lip and push past him as I run from the house and head for the beach

I am slowly walking along the shore line as my tears fall.

"Raya are you ok" I hear my sister ask me and I shake my head as I stop to look at her "it hurts Janet. More than when I was away from him. I want it to stop, I want to die" I tell her and she rushes to me pulling me into a hug

"Please don't do this again. I cant bare to see you like that again, not ever" "but it hurts so much. I love him with all my heart and he pledged his love to that fucking bloodsucking un-dead bitch" "he loves you Raya"

"Does he because I'm not sure anymore. Plus when he finds out that I attacked the skank he wont be happy.

Although I kind of liked the blond one, she was egging me on to do it" I say the last part with a giggle and look at my sister

"Just please don't go back to suicidal Raya" "cant promise that at the moment. I'm kind of edging towards the word razor and wrist at the moment.

Everything she said hit me like a sledge hammer in the heart. It was like having a knife thrust in it and twisted"

"Don't talk like that. You are my sister and I love and need you. You cant leave me to deal with mum"

I giggle at the last part "we should head back"

She nods and we start heading back towards Sam and Emily's

When we arrive I notice that Jacob is missing and look to Sam "he went to the Cullen's" he says

"To see the love of his life Bella. Why am I not surprised"

I sit down and stare at the ceiling; I know all eyes are on me

"This isn't good is it" Paul says "she went back into suicide mode again. I cant loose my sister Paul" Janet says with a teary voice and I look at her

All emotions are once again gone and its like I don't care. I pull out a pack of cigarettes and head outside

I spark one up and take a deep puff as Sam comes outside

"Those are bad for your health" he says "all the more reason to use them. Might kill me before I can do it myself" I say

"ENOUGH I FORBID YOU TO EVER HARM YOURSELF" he yells at me in the alpha tone and I cant resist. My head bows to him as I growl

"I'm sorry Raya but you left me no choice. I wont let you hurt yourself over that girl. Get back inside"

"Why so I can wait for jakey to come tell me he was wrong and that he still loves that slut. Thanks but I would rather not" I than walk away and he lets me go, its not like I can hurt myself now so he doesn't have to worry


	4. Chapter 4

I have been sat in my room for over an hour now. I can hear the pack downstairs talking to my dad and each other.

A door opens and I hear a familiar voice

"Where's Raya" Jacob says "in her room but she isn't doing so good. I had to use my alpha voice so she wouldn't harm herself" Sam says "what please tell me she's ok"

"She thinks you don't love her Jacob. She said it hurts more than when she was away from you. I want my sister back like she was before that bloodsucker arrived" Janet yells

I hear feet running up the stairs and want to run but I just cant be bothered to move so I turn my back to the door as it opens

The bed dips and a hand is placed on my hip in a comforting manner

"Come to rip out the rest of my heart Jake. Go ahead I don't care anymore. I wont kill myself over it, Sam has forbidden me to do so. Go ahead, I'm sorry Raya but I don't love you I love the bloodsucking bitch and I always will. You where just a distraction from my pain until she returned so I could run to her and fuck her senseless" I say with my back still to him

He grabs me and spins me to face him with anger in his eyes "don't you dare" "what don't call your sweet Bella a bloodsucking bitch. Just did" I yell as I go to hit him

He has me pinned to the bed in seconds and is looking down on me

"Don't you dare ever think that I love her? I love you and I always have and always will.

The day your mum took you away from me was the worst thing in the world.

I never loved Bella and I realise that now. She was the distraction from the pain of not having you in my life.

Nobody will ever compare to you and I have told her this"

I look into his eyes and I know he isn't lying to me. I lean up and capture his lips as he kisses me hard

"I love you jakey" "I love you more baby. You're the only girl for me" "can I kill the bitch please"

"I would let you but the treaty is in place" he says as he kisses me again "can I beat on her than" he laughs

"We'll see if Sam will let you" "thank you"

We have decided that I and Leah will return to the Cullen's house but Sam has given strict orders that we can only attack if we feel threatened.

We are once again met at the door by Edward as he glares at me

"I don't want you near Bella" he tells me with a hiss

"I have been ordered not to attack her, unless I feel threatened" I tell him and than Blondie appears by his side smiling and waving at me "hey Blondie" I say and she comes over and hugs me "thank you for hitting her and I'm Rosalie" "its nice to meet you Rosalie and you're welcome" I hear Edward growl at us both and Leah laughs

"I'm beginning to like you leech" Leah tells Rosalie and she smiles "come on inside" Rosalie tells us and leads us in as I grin at Edward and pass him

We enter the living area and the big guy comes over smiling "hey pup" "hi shwartzaneggar" he laughs and hugs me "you guys really like to hug huh" "I like you, you got balls" he says "probably bigger than yours" I say and another guy laughs and I turn to him "you are" "jasper"

"Jazz" "if you like. This is my girlfriend Alice" "you're the one Jake calls a pixie right" "I guess so" "nice to meet you. I like you all which is odd. Well all but Bella and dead boy over there who keeps glaring at me. If you have something to say, say it" I tell him as I face him

"You attacked Bella" "she provoked me. Jacob is mine and I am his. She knew what she said would provoke me and she still did it. So I will not apologize to you or her"

"Why did they send you back" he yells as he gets in my face and I push him away hard as he growls at me

"Do not try to intimidate me. I am not some simple little human who will stand there and take your shit or hers" I yell back at him "Edward you will be polite" a man says

"Carlisle she hit Bella" "yes and Bella provoked her into it. She used the love Raya has for Jake to hurt her and that was unacceptable. So you and Bella will be polite in my home" the man tells him and he nods "Bella come down"

The bitch returns and she is glaring at me now as I stand there with no emotion on my face.

These people, well vampires seem nice and I will not disrespect them in there home again

"What is she doing here again? I don't want her here" she says in a whining tone that has me rolling my eyes

"Deal with it princess" I tell her and she goes to move towards me as Carlisle moves in front of her

"Don't Bella. I will not have this again. Raya is here to finish the job she was originally sent for" he says

"So why send Leah with her" "to keep her under control" Edward says looking at me and Leah nastily

"I won't attack her dead boy so loosen your knickers" I say and Rosalie bursts out laughing at me as he glares at her

"I can't believe you rose" he says "you know how I feel about Bella and how I have always felt. I won't change that just because she's your wife and one of us, so deal with it" she tells him

"Can we just get this over with? The smell is driving me nuts. How can you stand it Raya" Leah says her first words and I look to her

"Smell what smell" "vampire smell, you don't smell them"

"No I have never smelled them. I sort of sense them, but there is no smell that I can define" "odd. Oh well lets do what we came to do"

"How can we be sure Raya won't lie about Bella because of her hatred for her" Edward asks

"Because I am not a deceitful person, I do not lie and I will never lie to my alpha and pack.

Whatever is between the princess and I remains our problem. I am not a bad person.

You may think so because of what happened the first time I was here but that as I said was provoked.

I have my anger under control and I never flip like that"

"New wolves always flip at the little things" he says smugly "but I am not new. I phased five years ago and imprinted upon my best friend Jacob. But was than taken away by my mum and just recently returned. So as I said I can be trusted completely, dead boy" "stop calling him that" Bella says with a hiss

"Make me princess. I'm just itching for a reason to kick the shit out of you" I calm myself and look to Carlisle

"Sorry Carlisle that was rude of me. Now to the business at hand please. We need to be certain she will not attack anyone" I than move closer to her and she snarls

"Don't come near me friend stealer" she says "I did not steal your friend Bella. You made your choice and that lost him. You could at least be happy that he is finally happy.

I didn't come here with hatred for you, Jacob told me of you right before I came here, yet I came with no hatred towards you. But the moment you realised who I was you became angry and felt the need to hurt me.

I am not your enemy; I would not stop Jacob coming to see you. If that be his wish than he may see you all he wants but that is not my place to say, I am here for one reason only and that is the safety of people"

I know my blood smells human to everyone around me, even the pack don't smell wolf on me.

I can see Bella's mouth trembling slightly and her hands are twitching. She suddenly grabs me and sinks her fangs into my neck as Edward and Carlisle pull her away and Leah and Rosalie help me move away from her

"That gives me my answers. She is a danger to humans"

"She didn't bite a human she bit a wolf" Edward says

"A wolf whose blood smells human, I didn't realise till now" jasper says and everyone turns to Bella who is struggling to get to me "Leah its time to go" I say and we head for the door

"What will you be recommending" Rosalie asks me

"She is dangerous to humans, only her. I don't know what Sam will recommend here Rosalie. But I will speak with him" I than hug her as I watch Bella snarling at me in Edward and Carlisle's arms "she should not have been turned and than brought back here. She isn't ready for this" I say as Leah and I leave and head for the woods

Sam is pacing up and down in the yard as we all watch him

"You're going to make a crater if you do that any longer" I tell him and he turns to me smirking and I grin

"So what do we do Sam" Leah asks "I guess we attack"

I stand up and shake my head in protest

"No there not all a danger, just Bella and possibly Edward if we attack her. I like the others and I don't want to hurt them" I say "Raya there vampires" embry says

"I don't care embry. I trust them all except Bella and Edward. Please don't hurt them because of her Sam"

"Than what do you suggest Raya" he asks me and I let out the breath I was holding

"Let me speak with them. Maybe find a way around this somehow" "no way you're not safe near Bella" Jacob says

"Leah can come with me again" "why not me"

"Because you have a past with her Jacob, it may impair your judgement. So I take Leah with me" "you don't trust me" he yells "I never said that Jacob" "didn't have to" he growls with his jaw clenched

I grab his hand and pull him outside into the yard and than turn to look at him

"I trust you Jacob, I don't trust her. She tried to provoke me once already; she will use you against me if you're there. I don't want to start a war between us and them because of her. So please don't be angry with me" I say placing a hand on his cheek "I love you Raya" "I love you to"

"Ok I won't go but you take Leah and Paul with you. I won't chance you getting hurt again" I nod and hug him

Paul, Leah and I head back to the Cullen's. This time they stay in wolf form and I change back

The Cullen's come outside and Edward and Emmett are holding onto Bella as she snarls at me

"What has been decided" Rosalie asks me with worry in her eyes "nothing yet" I tell her "Sam wanted to attack" Edward says watching me with shock and no longer hatred

"You asked him not to why" he asks me "because it's not all of you. The danger is Bella, possibly you when it concerns your mate.

Truthfully I don't trust you or her, but I trust your family and do not want to see them harmed"

"A wolf caring for vampires, what's the catch" Bella growls

"There is no catch Bella" I say kindly and her growling stops as she looks at me in shock "I hurt you and yet you seem so calm" "I understand that it must be hard for you Bella. To be so near humans or in my case, someone who smells like a human. I don't blame you for the reaction you had, but you must admit you are a danger"

She watches me and than nods her head "you're right"

The Cullen's all turn to her in shock at her admittance

"I thought I could handle it but I'm having trouble" she says and I nod, for some reason I want to hug her and tell her it will be ok

Edward looks at me and I smile "I don't advise it Raya"

"Don't advise what Edward" Carlisle asks him

"She wanted to hug Bella and make her feel better" they all look at me and I smile "I'm not heartless I can see her pain and I know what its like to hurt"

Edward looks at me with pity and sadness; I'm having trouble blocking him out of my head

"You where suicidal when your mum took you from Jacob. That's why you reacted to Bella's words the way you did.

You almost went back to that today" he says and I nod

"So you see, I know pain" Bella looks at me and sighs

"I'm so sorry Raya, I had no idea" "how could you. Only my family know and my pack family"

"Why are you being so nice after what I did? I tried to make you think Jake didn't love you and than I attacked you"

"I don't hold grudges Bella, that's not who I am and I have a solution to our problem"

"What is the solution here" Carlisle asks moving closer and Paul growls "Paul be nice please" he nods and stops

"I will help her to deal with her thirst; I will come by each day and help her control the need. It will be hard at first but it will get better. All I ask is that protection is in place for me and her. If she attacks me I won't hesitate to defend myself"

"But if I really hurt you, I can't ask you to help me"

"You're not asking I'm offering. I don't want anyone to get hurt on either side of the treaty. I kind of like some of you, mostly I like Blondie" I say and she laughs and smiles at me "I kind of like you to mutt" "thanks Blondie boo" I say smiling and Emmett barks out a laugh

"Are you sure about this Raya" Carlisle asks and I nod

"I will need to run it past the pack and let you know though" he nods and smiles than Paul pulls me away and we take off into the woods

"Hell no" Jacob yells as he paces back and forth in anger

"I'm not asking for your permission Jacob, I'm asking for Sam's. We don't need a war between the pack and Cullen's because of this.

My helping Bella to control her thirst will save us that war and save people being killed or hurt in any way

Would you let Charlie feel the pain of loosing Bella Jacob? Would you allow Edward to hurt, you and he may not get along but nobody deserves that"

"What if I lose you, I don't deserve that baby"

"You will not lose me Jacob; we will set up all aspects with care. Protection will be needed in case she has a relapse but I can handle it. Please let me do this for her Jacob, she's hurting and it's hard for her but with help she will learn to cope like they all did"

I turn to Sam and he nods his approval "but if anything goes wrong we will attack them Raya" "understood, now who wants to be my protection" I say looking at Jacob and he nods "good boy" I say and he laughs


	5. authors note

**authors note**

i haven't uploaded in a while and i am going over my stories on here and new ones.

i will put up the next chapter as soon as i can, thanks to all who have enjoyed this story


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